Cheese in a Can
by TDCSI
Summary: Oh what fun we can have with cheese in a can.


Okay, so yippy about the strike ending and that we will at least get six new episodes before the end of the season. This was a challenge from the Queen of Sin. Who else would demand that spoons be randomly used.

1. GSR fluffiness...NO angst!...at all!...I forbid it! (that includes you Trudy!)  
2. Geekbaby!...any age...if it's an older child...they must have younger siblings...also it can be a pregnant Sara  
3. A HAMSTER!  
4. The term "post-coital Snuggle Session"  
5. The word "Spoon" at least 5 times

6. Grissom in a suit and glasses

7. Easy Cheese

This is also a half assed collaboration via the phone with thegreatbluespoon.

* * *

Cheese in a Can

Spending the day sitting on a hard bench isn't what one would call exciting. But it had to be done. After court was adjourned for the day, Gil Grissom was more than ready to head home.

He entered to an unusually quiet house as he tugged on his tie. Deciding to take advantage of the situation, instead of looking a gift horse in the mouth, he headed for the kitchen to settle his rumbling stomach. Upon opening the refrigerator Grissom was greeted with very little snacking options.

After scanning the contents over his glasses as they slipped to the edge of his nose, he finally settled on a can of Easy Cheese. Grissom popped the yellow top off and opened the silverware drawer.

"Figures," he sighed.

Without making the effort to look for a spoon, he shook the can, and tipped it back. He opened his mouth wide and began to fill it with cheesy goodness.

"Nooooooooo!"

The screechy cry that suddenly appeared startled Grissom as his mouth filled with cheese. He practically dropped the can and began chocking as he looked to see where the cry was coming from.

"No, no, no! Stop, you can't eat that!"

Grissom wiped his mouth and let several strained coughs escape as he acknowledged his son. "Why can't I eat this?" He held out the can of cheese.

"Cause you just can't." The young boy stood his ground.

"Unless you can give me a good explanation why I can't, I'm going to continue to eat it." Grissom started raising the can of cheese towards his mouth.

"Nooooo!" The boy began stomping his feet in protest.

"Tell me what you intend to do with this, and I'll find something else to eat." He set the can down on the counter and proceeded to fully remove his tie.

"Well…um…it was my turn to bring Baxter home for the weekend."

Grissom held up his hand. "Okay, what is a Baxter, and what does he have to do with cheese?"

"Baxter, the hamster." The boy proudly announced.

"Jason…" He sighed, shook, and hung his head simultaneously. "Please tell me you don't intend to feed a hamster cheese?"

Jason was five years old and in the first grade. Sara at times would refer to him as a genius like his father, but at times like these, it showed his true age. "I was so excited when it was my turn to bring him home, that I forgot his food at school."

It took him a moment to put the pieces together. "Son, have you already given Baxter some of the cheese?"

Jason enthusiastically nodded. "Yup, and he loved it!"

As his son proudly announced that he was taking care of the class pet, Grissom knew the last thing a hamster should eat was Easy Cheese. "Um…why don't we do to the store and get him some real hamster food?"

"Really?!"

Grissom smiled and nodded. "Yes, really. Let me get changed and we'll go."

"Yippy!" Jason jumped as he twisted in the air.

He watched his son retreat before heading to relieve himself of his court suit. Even though he hated wearing suits, this one was his particular favorite. The Two-Button Black Multi-Stripe Suit was something that he would never buy himself, but when Sara drug him shopping for a new suit as his first Father's Day present, he couldn't resist. With the royal blue shirt and matching silk tie, even he had to appreciate it, that and when she said he looked 'yummy' in it, he was sold.

After getting a small box of pelleted rodent food, Grissom watched as Jason filled the small dish. "Here Baxter, you can eat this."

Grissom leaned over when he noted that something was on the small animal. He reopened the cage and gently removed Baxter. His fingers easily removed a yellow like substance from the hair. He brought it to his nose and sniffed it. "It's cheese."

"I told you, I gave him cheese."

He gave his son a smile and returned the hamster to his cage. "OW!" Grissom quickly pulled his hand back and held it against his body instinctively. "Son of a…"

"Hey!" Sara popped in just before Grissom was about to finish his remark. "Get bit?"

Grissom shook his hand and began to assess his injury. "Yeah, little bugger."

Sara took his hand and inspected the small bite. "Here, do this." She held her hand out away from her body and waited until Grissom mimicked her. "See, it's a long way from your heart, you'll live." She gave him a witty smile and left.

During dinner, Jason had made it a tradition to tell his parents about his day at school. Of course, feeding the hamster cheese was the highlight of the day.

Jason excused himself to go and play with Baxter while Grissom and Sara proceeded to clean up after dinner.

"Hey!"

"Hey what?" Sara acted innocent as she began placing the spoons from the dishwasher in a drawer.

"Grab ass." Grissom took a handful of forks, knives, and spoons that were dirty and placed them into the dishwasher.

"If you're complaining, I'll stop."

He moved his head slightly to look at Sara's sly smile out of the corner of his eye. Grissom wiped his hands dry on the dish towel before moving behind her, pinning her between his arms as he leaned into her. He inhaled the scent from her hair. "Mmm, are you trying to drop subtle hints?"

Sara pushed back into him. "Maybe. You know, since Jason came into our lives, we've been more relaxed."

"And statistics show that conception is more likely to happen when both parties are not distressed."

She turned to face him and with a slight jump, seated herself on the counter top. "Come here."

Sara grabbed the collar of his shirt and roughly pulled his lips to meet hers. When he stepped forward, she encompassed her legs around him. Grissom lifted her off of the counter and made his way to their bedroom.

After their bout in bed, Grissom spooned Sara in their ritualistic post coital snuggle session.

"Gil?"

"Yes." Grissom replied into her hair as he enjoyed their closeness.

"Do you think I'll get pregnant this time?" Sara asked worriedly. "It seems we've been trying for years. The physicians have given both of us clean bills of health. Is there something else wrong with me that they don't know about?"

"Sara…" He increased his hold on her. "We need to just stop trying to make it a like a chore."

She turned her head so she could see his face. "I'm not."

"Yes, you are." Grissom sighed and kissed her cheek. "And if we never get pregnant, so be it. We can always adopt again."

Sara gave him a genuine smile and rolled to face him. She began kissing him in an attempt to relight the fire. Grissom returned the gesture and pulled her so she was on top of him.

Suddenly the door opened. "Help!" Jason ran over and jumped up on the bed. "He's gone!"

Grissom pulled the covers up as fast as possible to cover Sara.

"Who's gone, sweetie?" Sara calmly asked. Grissom was more annoyed by the interruption than she was.

"Baxter." Jason ignored his parents precarious position and began to explain what happened. "I took him out and was playing with him, but when I set him on the ground to run he took off under my bed. I couldn't reach him, so I pulled it away from the wall a bit and he was gone! I can't find him!"

"Okay, sweetie. Go back upstairs and start looking, Daddy and I will be right there." She watched as Jason bounced off the bed and ran out the door without closing it.

"Oh God, now there's a rat running loose in the house." Grissom groaned as Sara carefully made her way off of him.

She pulled on her robe. "Come on, the faster we find this thing, the faster we can get back to bed."

He followed her lead and slipped into a bathrobe. "Don't you mean back _in_ bed?"

Sara didn't respond and headed off to their son's room to find the runaway hamster.

When they entered Jason's room, the first thing they saw was the boys flailing legs emerging out from underneath the bed as he grunted. "I see him!"

Grissom winced when his knees cracked as he kneeled to the ground. He glanced under the bed. "Where?"

"There, he's right there!" Jason pointed.

"Sara, would you get a flashlight?" She left to get the light while Grissom continued to look with Jason. "I don't think that's a hamster."

"Sure it is."

He squinted his eyes and tried to see the object. "No, it's not."

"Here." Sara returned and handed Grissom the light. He clicked it on and shined it towards the object in question.

"What is that?" Grissom tried to decipher what it was that he was looking at. He pushed himself out from under the bed, and grabbed Jason's legs, pulling the boy out as well. "Here, move." He stood and further pulled the bed away from the wall.

Once he had it far enough away from the wall, Grissom walked across the bed and stood on the opposite side. He shined the light down. "This…" Bending down he picked up what Jason was determined was the missing Baxter. "…is not a hamster."

"Ew."

"Cool!" Jason had a more different opinion of what his father held up.

Grissom had the mouse by the tail as he held up the dead rodent. "Just because it's small and fuzzy, doesn't mean it's a hamster."

Sara couldn't believe what she was seeing. "I'm getting traps first thing tomorrow. I can't stand mice in the house." She shuddered at the thought. "Nasty little diseased things."

Grissom crossed the bed and threw the mouse in the trash can. "Okay, Jason, when you put Baxter down he ran under the bed?"

"Yup."

"Then you couldn't see him after that, right?"

Jason shook his head. "No. When I tried to get him, he went behind that pile of stuff where you found the mouse."

He pondered for a moment then made a trail with the flash light going from the afore mentioned pile, along the wall, until it stopped at the closet door. It was slightly ajar, but the gap between the floor and the door was too narrow for a cheese-stuffed hamster to fit through.

"Stay here." He instructed Sara and Jason as he entered the closet and shut the door. They both watched as he disappeared.

Grissom shined the light on the floor. He noticed the pile of laundry in the corner, and decided that it was the perfect place for a hamster to hide. Piece by piece, he began disassembling the pile. A clanging sound halted his progress. "What the…" He picked up the spoon that had fallen from the pocket of a hoodie. With a confused shake of his head, continued to pick apart the pile.

"Mom, do you think Dad will find Baxter?" Jason asked in concerned for the class pet he let run away.

Sara pulled Jason close to her and put her arm around the boy. "Your dad is good at finding things, I'm sure he'll find Baxter." She then mumbled under her breath. "He better."

The closet door opened and Grissom proudly displayed the furry hamster in his hand. "Got him."

Jason ran over and took the pet from his father. "Thank you, thank you." He cuddled the small creature before returning it to the cage.

Jason returned to Grissom and hugged him. "You're welcome." He kneeled down and returned the gesture. "Next time, how about we not put Baxter on the floor and let him go." With an enthusiastic nod, Jason agreed.

Sara smiled. "Okay, time for bed." She tucked in Jason and left the room with Grissom. "Wash your hands."

"What?"

"Your hands, wash them." She demanded.

He gave her a confused look. "Why?"

Sara began walking down the hall leaving him standing dumbfounded. "Because, you touched a dead animal, and if you have any intention of touching me again tonight, wash your hands."

He rushed to the bathroom. Sara laughed at his urgency and could only hope it would all come together eventually.

Grissom entered the bedroom and noticed that Sara was already under the covers. He slowly made his way around the bed, grabbing the comforter and pulled it from her body. With a wicked grin, he held up a can of easy cheese.

"What on earth do you intend to do with that?" Sara was both turned on and concerned as he smiled.

"I intend to eat it. How and where, are up to you my dear."

* * *

See, Jason's still alive, in spirit and in other random fics. I'm sure I'll be hearing about it, but just so everyone knows, it was thespoon's idea.

Please leave a review. I'm sure the majority will still be everyone expressing their feelings about a certain dead boy.

TDCSI


End file.
